


You Pull Me In (And I'm a Little More Brave)

by wherehopelies



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Emily Centric, F/F, Slow Burn, emily stacie bella otf, famous!beca, fluff and angst and everything in between, stemily brotp like nothing else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-05 09:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13385073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/wherehopelies
Summary: "Emily still has no part of her life figured out, but when she speaks, Beca listens like she might learn from Emily, like Emily has the answers." Emily is living in LA with Stacie and her daughter, Bella. When Beca re-enters their lives, she's just trying to figure out who she's meant to be and what role Beca will play in her life.Emily centric-fic spanning from a little before PP2 and into the future. Lowkey a sequel to my other Emily fic Blow a Kiss, Fire a Gun, if you pretend bechloe didn't get together at the end (sorry.. i know... but this is bemily okay?)(you dont have to read that other one to get this at all, but there's some references to it that will make your reading experience more enjoyable if you do imo lol).





	1. Fifteen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aca_trash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aca_trash/gifts).



> Every chapter is a song from Taylor Swift's Fearless album because I was listening to that and got mad Emily/Bemily feels. 
> 
> I don't know at what rate this will update. I have several chapters written already in hopes that I will stay on top of writing and publishing, and I will do my best to be regular about it, but ultimately updates will likely be sporadic. Thanks for understanding.

Emily is fifteen when the Bellas first win the ICCAs. She watches the Let’s Talk-appella live stream with her mom, cheering when the Bellas perform and the judges award them the trophy.

She’s just fifteen, but watching that performance, she knows she wants to be a Bella. Sure, her mom was one back in the day, which makes her a legacy, and her godmothers were Bellas so she was basically raised to be one her whole life, but still. This is the moment that she actually wants it for reasons free from other people, from expectations and family traditions and all those politics. She wants to be a Bella for herself because being a Bella makes you part of something, gives you have a family, and lets you sing and dance and embrace all the parts of you that are special.

Emily is just fifteen and she doesn’t know exactly what she wants from life yet. She doesn’t know who she’s going to be or what she’s going to do.

But she does know, deep inside herself, that she was made to be a Bella.

//

Emily is sixteen and her heart is breaking for the first time.

Her mom says she falls in love deeply and with her whole heart – in love with people and music and books and her obsessions.

And boys.

One boy to be exact.

His name is Cory and he has eyes the color of the Atlantic Ocean. He likes Phish the band and wants to study art in college. When he smiles, his dimples take over his cheeks, and sometimes he draws Emily doodles and pictures in History class, passing them to her when the teacher isn’t looking.

She asks him to the Sadie Hawkins dance, and he blushes and says yes.

She goes over to his house and they play video games together, making out between loading screens. He gives her pictures he drew of her and makes mini comic strips where they’re super heroes who save the world with the power of art and music.

Emily thinks she loves him.

Her dad teases her all the time for being so smiley and googly eyed, but sometimes when she’s going out, he looks at her like he wants to wrap her up in his arms forever and not let her go.

(Her mom says she falls in love deeply and with her whole heart.)

“Just look before you fall, Em,” her dad murmurs into her hair when she hugs him goodnight, so quietly she’s not sure she didn’t imagine it.

Emily is sixteen and thinks your first love lasts forever, so it comes as a complete surprise to her when Cory breaks up with her. He says he likes her as a person and she’s one of his best friends, but he just doesn’t feel _that way_ about her.

Emily is sixteen and her heart is breaking.

She cries until her eyes are red and sore and her mom offers to bring her ice cream for dinner. She snuggles in her bed and wants to skip school, but doesn’t. She can’t understand how life can go from shiny and bright to dull and aching so quickly.

Everything inside her feels like it’s pulling apart. She listens to music and writes her own sad songs and when nothing else helps, she watches the video of the Bella’s winning ICCA performance until she feels better.

//

Emily is seventeen and she’s learned that time heals most things.

She’s a senior in high school and she’s thrown herself into life with a new energy. She runs track and joins the Spring musical, works on her music and hangs out with her friends.

Sometimes she feels clumsy in her life, like she’s not exactly sure which way to go, and that scares her a lot. Her mom says that’s normal for people her age, but Emily wonders if she shouldn’t have a better idea of herself yet.

It just feels like everyone her age has everything figured out already. They know what they want from life and where they’re going and who they’re going to be and Emily just… doesn’t.

She thinks she’s like an outline of a person, there-but-not, and wishes she could fill in the parts of herself that don’t quite make sense.

//

Emily is eighteen and in her first semester of college.

She still falls in love too deeply and with her whole heart. She loves school and life and most of all, she loves being a Bella, even if they kind of don’t have their stuff together this year.

Emily throws herself into things recklessly, she always has, but she loves the thrill of getting excited and making friends.

And the Bellas are her friends. Emily loves Cynthia Rose, who vibes with her about music, and she loves Flo, who teaches her fun words in Spanish. Amy makes her laugh and Lilly teaches her how to throw a knife. She also loves Jessica and Ashley, who always ask her to try the new treats they’re baking and offer to give her rides places.

Emily especially loves Stacie, who always listens when Emily talks and never calls her stupid like Amy does. Stacie is patient with Emily’s questions and she gives the best hugs.

Emily really loves Beca and Chloe, even though they’re intimidating. Chloe is like a rollercoaster, up and down, but when she smiles, Emily feels important, and when they hang out together, Emily feels taken care of.

Beca is the most confusing Bella, but that somehow makes Emily’s love magnified in all sorts of weird ways. Beca is cool and confident and intimidating, but she’s also soft and insecure and dorky. She seems preoccupied with her life, but she also devotes unheard of amounts of time to the Bellas and their lives together.

Sometimes Emily feels like the baby of the group, and she guesses she kind of is in some ways, but when she’s with Beca she never feels like that. Beca is interested in Emily’s music and always asking her questions about her writing process. When Emily tells her things, Beca listens intently, curious and serious. It’s different from how Stacie listens, which is loving and patient and full of fondness.

Emily still has no part of her life figured out, but when she speaks, Beca listens like she might learn from Emily, like Emily has the answers.

Emily is just eighteen, and she’s confused about how that makes her feel.

//

Emily is nineteen and caught in a moment.

It twists around her like a blanket, like the swirling of clouds at sunset. She’s standing on a stage in front of thousands of people, hoisting a trophy and laughing.

Stacie’s arm is around her shoulder and Beca’s front is pressed into hers in a tight hug. Lights shine all around them and Emily feels like she’s on a carousel, spinning into a current of happiness.

“We won!” Stacie shouts, and Emily laughs and smiles and she can’t breathe for the perfection of the moment.

They’ve won the World Championships and she’s a Bella and she has friends and family and she feels that she finally, at least in this one moment, has figured herself out.

She thinks back to the first time she watched the Bellas win the ICCAs and all the times in between she thought about being a Bella herself. She always hoped it would be something like this, but never could imagine how great it would really feel.

She wishes she could go back, to that time when she was fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. She wishes she could go back and tell herself what she knows now, tell herself not to worry and to let it be.

She wants to tell herself that she’ll figure some things out, and the things she doesn’t figure out, there’s still time.

She wants to tell herself to take a breath and take it all in.

Instead, she focuses on the now, her arms around her friends, the lights in her eyes.

Emily is nineteen, and she’s on top of the world.


	2. Jump Then Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Chloe touches their lips together, slowly at first, then deepening the kiss when Emily doesn’t pull away. She tastes like strawberry smoothie and smells like her perfume, delicious and comforting and wonderful.
> 
> Emily loves it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jump then fall has always given me hella chemily feels so pls enjoy

Emily hates boys.

Okay fine, not really. She’s totally bi, so sometimes she likes boys. Like at Worlds when she kissed Benji and it was totally awesome!

But Benji graduated and they decided not to do the long distance thing even though Emily really liked him. Benji was a rare nice and sweet boy.

She’s glad her freshman year of college ended with her kissing him.

However, Benji aside, Emily is not super fond of boys right now. Mostly because she’s been living with some of the Bellas over the summer while they look for jobs and she works as a research assistant in the Psych department for some extra credits and she’s just getting like, super fond of girls.

She’s totally feeling girls right now, if you know what she means.

And when this kid Michael asked her out after their shift in the lab and she said no because she’s kind of been looking at the Her app more than the Tinder app lately, he wouldn’t take no for an answer without like, an explanation, which was so annoying. And Emily didn’t owe him anything, but boys are totally persistent and she wanted to go home and watch Tiny House Hunters with Stacie so she just told the truth. She’s not really into boys at the moment.

And at first he was like, cool with it. Sort of. She guesses he was cool with it in that annoying boy way like he suddenly got a little cocky because at least it made sense why she was saying no to going out with him, as if the only reason she wouldn’t was because she was feeling more into girls recently and not because he didn’t shower enough (in Emily’s opinion).

But then he was all “so how many girls have you been with?” and she was like, “none yet” and then he was like “then how do you know you want to date girls” and then Emily was like “I have to go bye” because he’s stupid and she’s doubted that very thing enough herself without stupid Michael pointing it out to her!

So yeah, Emily’s fuming a little bit about how much she hates boys when she gets home. She drops her backpack on the floor with a thud and flops onto the couch, burying her head into the throw pillow with a dramatic and prolonged groan.

“Um, everything okay?”

Emily shrieks in surprise and almost rolls off the couch, but she thankfully manages to catch herself in time and sits up instead. “Chloe! Oh my stars, you scared me. I didn’t know anyone was home.”

Chloe just raises an eyebrow and sips on the straw of her Jamba Juice. “Just me.” Then she frowns. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Emily pouts, sinking into the back of the couch again with a huff. “Boys are just stupid.”

“Mmm,” Chloe hums sympathetically and eases down next to her. She pulls her feet up under her until she’s cross-legged and turns to face Emily fully. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Emily shrugs. “I just got asked out by this guy in my lab.”

“Ooh,” Chloe coos. “Is he not nice?”

“He’s okay.”

Chloe scrunches her eyebrows thoughtfully. “Stupid?”

“No, he’s pretty smart.”

“Ugly?”

Emily slumps further into the couch. “Noooo he’s fine.” She pulls the throw pillow into her lap, her fingers fiddling with a loose string. “I just… I told him I was kind of looking to date a girl right now and he asked how I knew I was bi if I had never kissed a girl, and I don’t know. I know he’s dumb and that doesn’t matter, but also like, sometimes I can’t help but think he’s right.”

“Oh, honey.” Chloe sets her smoothie cup on the end table and grabs Emily’s hands, her face turning serious. “Em, you know how you feel and you know what you like. Don’t let some guy convince you otherwise. If you like girls, then you like girls.”

“I know, it’s just I’ve never _kissed_ one even, so it still just feels… I don’t know.” She shrugs again. She knows her sexuality is valid and Chloe is right and all that stuff everyone is always saying when she makes Tumblr posts about this stuff, how supportive they are. She still just like, feels sad about it sometimes.

Chloe squeezes her hand. “Well, let’s do something about it then.”

“I’m trying,” Emily whines. “I go on the Her app and even went to the GSA meeting once. It’s just like, so hard to tell if a girl is also into girls and then if she is, like, how do you know she _likes_ you? GIRLS ARE SO CONFUSING!”

Chloe smiles at her, all soft and fond and tender. “I meant right now. With me.”

Emily’s stomach bottoms out. “W-what?”

“If you want to, of course. No pressure at all.” Chloe laughs. “I just thought, well, I like girls, and you like girls, and I love you, Em, and kisses are always better when the person you’re kissing loves you.”

Emily blinks, her mouth opening in surprise. “Oh. Oh like you and me kiss?”

“Yeah.”

“Like… now?”

“Mhmm,” Chloe scrunches her nose.

Emily’s brain feels like mush. “Oh. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Cool.” She clears her throat nervously. “Yeah.”

Chloe raises an eyebrow, her lips pulling up in a soft smile. “Are you sure? We don’t have to. Only if you want to.”

Emily nods frantically. “I want to.” She leans in a little, probably too over eager but like… !!!!!!!!!!

Chloe bites her lip around her grin and shifts her body closer. Emily closes her eyes as every last bit of air gets caught in her throat.

Chloe touches their lips together, slowly at first, then deepening the kiss when Emily doesn’t pull away. She tastes like strawberry smoothie and smells like her perfume, delicious and comforting and wonderful.

Emily loves it.

She whines a little when Chloe pulls away.

“How was that?”

“Yeah. Good. No! Sorry. Great. You’re great. Wow.” She traces her lips with her tongue as if she can still taste Chloe on them. She feels her eyes widening in awe. “Can we like, do that again?”

Chloe laughs, full and bright. “Totes.” Then they’re kissing again and Emily is in girl heaven.

“UMM excuse me?!”

Emily jumps and pulls away with a squeak, heat rushing into her face.

“YOU GUYS ARE HOOKING UP?!” Stacie stands there with her mouth open in shock and as Emily’s entire body probably sets on fire, Beca appears next to her, her eyes wide in confusion.

Chloe just pats Emily’s hand lightly. “Emily was just feeling like she wanted some validation about liking girls.”

“Ooooh,” Stacie grins. “The old kiss your friend thing. Love it.” Then she gasps. “Hey, I want to validate Emily too!”

Emily freezes. “You - what?”

Stacie’s long legs cross the room in three steps and then she’s in front of Emily leaning down. “Can I kiss you, too?”

“Oh,” Emily whispers, Stacie’s breath already on her lips. “S-sure.”

And then Emily like, ascends, because Stacie’s _tongue_ is _in_ her _mouth_!

Stacie giggles as she leans back, humming appreciatively. “What you think about that, Em?”

Emily like, seriously has no words, but Stacie and Chloe just smile at her knowingly, like some wise bisexual elders who have given her a spiritual awakening.

Emily would agree that’s pretty accurate.

“Your turn, Bec!” Stacie turns to Beca with a smirk and Emily glances over at her, still kind of in awe, to see Beca staring at them open-mouthed.

“What? My turn?” She snaps her mouth shut. “My turn to… to kiss… the legacy?”

Chloe and Stacie’s knowing smiles get more… knowing. Emily’s barely remembering to breathe.

“I mean, if you and Emily want to, of course,” Chloe says gently, like Beca is a fragile little mouse who might run away if Chloe says the wrong thing.

Emily wants to. She looks at Beca to find Beca staring at her.

“I mean… Emily… and, like… you guys? Me?” Beca’s mouth opens and closes a few times, no words coming out. “Er. Okay. For… for Emily’s sake, I guess. Pssh.” She clears her throat and shuffles over to the couch.

Emily’s mouth feels dry.

“Er. Are you sure you want me to?” Beca asks really quietly when she gets close enough, low so only Emily can hear.

Emily nods and leans up a little until her mouth is hovering over Beca’s. Then she presses their lips together.

Kissing Beca is different than kissing Chloe and Stacie, who kiss confidently and assuredly, playful and bright. Kissing Beca is like asking a question, a good one, one she wants to keep asking even if she never figures out the answer.

When they separate, Beca’s face is calm but pink, her eyes an electric blue that Emily wants to get lost in.

Then they’re all laughing and patting Emily on the shoulder and talking about dinner. And Emily can’t stop grinning, feeling on top of the world and happy as can be.

She literally isn’t sure how she got here, going from never kissing a girl to kissing three of the most beautiful amazing girls she’s ever met in the span of five minutes, but like.

Just wow.

Emily is hella freaking bi, and she knows it.


	3. Love Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All the graduated Bellas are doing cool and awesome things with their lives and Emily like, can’t even figure out what kind of job she might want or even win a collegiate a cappella competition. It just makes her feel kind of average. She’s more uninspired than ever, and with her senior year coming up, she’s kind of starting to think that the lack of success she’s had since winning Worlds her freshman year is making her life just a giant one-hit wonder."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR PP3 SPOILERS AHEAD

Emily’s second year of college is different than her first. Not bad different. Just… different.

Most of the graduated Bellas have moved away. Stacie is the only one still around, getting her combination Masters/PhD at Barden. Since Emily is alone, Stacie lives in the Bella house with her, but she’s extremely busy and they have completely different schedules, so Emily only sees her sometimes.

She knew it would be hard to say goodbye to her friends, but she kind of didn’t think about how difficult it would be to build an a cappella group entirely from scratch. The new girls are inexperienced and even Emily doesn’t have that much to put on her aca-resume.

Like, sure, she won Worlds with the Bellas and it was using her original song, but Beca put it all together and Chloe and Flo did all their choreo and Emily? She just like, did what they told her and kept a good attitude.

Needless to say, she doesn’t really know what she’s doing.

//

Still, she does her best with what she has. She loves the new girls and they have a really good time together. They don’t win anything, but she thinks next year they’re going to be great.

Sometimes, she just really misses the old Bellas.

//

By the beginning of her junior year of college, Emily still doesn’t really have her life figured out. She’s taken a bunch of Gen Ed classes and nothing has really grabbed her.

She declares a Psych major because she has a bunch of credits for it thanks to her summer job, and she thinks it’s interesting enough, even if it’s not her like, biggest passion in the world.

Her Bella auditions go crazy well, and her team this year is super awesome. Between Bellas and school and thinking about what comes after, her free time dwindles to near zero, and the free time she does have, she uses to hang out with Stacie in her new apartment and watch HGTV.

“Did you see Beca got promoted,” Stacie asks one day when they’re watching _Flip or Flop_ and scrolling through their social media feeds. Stacie’s feet are in Emily’s lap and she nudges Emily with her toe.

“Ow, that was my boob. No, what?”

“Yeah, she’s handling and producing acts on her own now.” Stacie scrolls a bit more. “Some hip-hop group or something.”

Emily feels pride flush her chest. “Aw that’s awesome! Tell her congratulations.”

Stacie looks up at her. “Do you ever think about sending Beca some more of your music? She’s a big shot now. You have connections. She could produce your stuff.”

Emily shrugs self-consciously and turns her attention back to the TV. “I haven’t really written much since last year. I’ve been really busy and haven’t felt that inspired.”

“I see,” Stacie says after a brief pause and Emily glances back at her.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Stacie says innocently, her eyes on her phone again. “That just sounds like what people say when they give something up.”

Emily scoffs. “I’m not giving up. I’ll write more over the summer when I have time. The Bellas have regionals coming up and I have like, 4 papers due at midterms.”

“Mmkay,” Stacie sing songs and Emily sticks out her tongue.

“Okay.”

Stacie pushes her with her foot again. “Okay.”

“Ow, that was my _boob_.”

//

They make it to nationals this year, but they don’t win.

Emily tries not to let it get her down, but it’s hard to stay positive when your team used to be 3-time ICCA and 1-time World champs and now you can’t win anything.

All the graduated Bellas are doing cool and awesome things with their lives and Emily like, can’t even figure out what kind of job she might want or even win a collegiate a cappella competition.

It just makes her feel kind of average. She’s more uninspired than ever, and with her senior year coming up, she’s kind of starting to think that the lack of success she’s had since winning Worlds her freshman year is making her life just a giant one-hit wonder.

//

She lives with Stacie over the summer again, continuing her summer job of working in the Psych research lab. She doesn’t write any music but she does binge the entirety of Parks and Rec on Netflix for the third time.

She and Stacie tan out by the pool at Stacie’s apartment complex and Emily’s 21 now, so sometimes they go out. Emily kisses random boys and girls in bars and thinks summer is the time she feels the most alive, but even then, she gets the sense that something is missing.

//

Toward the end of July, Emily comes home to find Stacie on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor.

She pauses in the doorway. “Stace… What are you doing?”

“Cleaning,” Stacie grunts and attacks the tile with renewed fervor. Emily looks around for evidence of a spill or some reason Stacie should be literally on the ground with a sponge instead of using their Swiffer like she usually does.

“Yeah, but why?”

“This place is a mess.”

Emily raises her eyebrows, taking in their already clean kitchen. “Uh… kay... Do you want help?”

“No, I just need this,” Stacie ferociously scrubs at a section of the floor that looks spotless to Emily, “to be clean.”

Emily frowns, unsure what to say. Stacie has always been a stress cleaner, but this is a little over the top. She decides to go change out of her lab clothes and then come back and see what’s going on.

In the bathroom, she finds the answer before she needs to ask, dropped into the trash bin among a few tissues and empty toilet paper rolls. Emily grabs the box, twirling it in her fingers, realization hitting her like a tsunami.

She drops it back into the trash and rushes to the kitchen.

“Stace?” Stacie’s still scrubbing at the floor. Emily eases down next to her, her heart breaking when she notices tears on Stacie’s cheeks. She’s never seen Stacie cry before. At least not at something other than Disney movies.

Stacie doesn’t say anything, so Emily grabs the sponge out of her hand and pushes the bowl of soapy water away from them. Stacie lets out a sob and Emily puts her arms around her, pulling Stacie to her chest.

As Stacie cries, Emily holds her and kisses her hair and tries to keep her own tears at bay.

She has a thousand thoughts running through her head and a million questions she wants to ask, but for now, they can wait.

//

“I think I’ll just do this upcoming semester and then take a year off and see,” Stacie murmurs into her chest later. They’re still on the kitchen floor. Emily has her back against the counter and Stacie propped against her front.

Emily hums, her throat scratchy from holding back tears. “And then what?”

Stacie shrugs. “Go back to LA and live with my mom for a bit, I guess.” She sniffles and her body quivers like she’s trying to stop the tears from returning. “I guess even the smartest of us are pretty dumb sometimes.”

“You’re not dumb,” Emily says immediately. “You just made a… a…” She halts, not wanting to say _mistake_. It doesn’t sound right. “These things happen sometimes.” She cringes. _These things_ doesn’t sound too great either.

“I just had so much left to do,” Stacie whispers. “I’m not even done with my degree. I had plans, you know. Now I’m just what everyone expected me to be.”

Emily leans to the side so she can meet Stacie’s eyes. “Not me. You’re like nobody else I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend. I think you’re awesome.” Stacie gives her a watery smile and Emily squeezes her tighter. “And you can still do those things. Who says you can’t? This is the twenty-first century. Women do it all the time. If anyone can do it, you can.”

“I can’t focus on a dissertation _and_ take care of a baby, Em. There’s not enough time.” She takes a deep breath and wipes at her eyes. “I don’t even know who the dad is. And to be honest, I don’t… I don’t really care.”

“So take some time off, like you said. And I’ll help you.” Emily nods because of course she will. “And the other Bellas and your mom. And so what about the dad? Your baby will have like, a thousand moms.”

Stacie chokes out a laugh and it makes warmth spread into Emily’s chest. “I love you, Em.”

“I love you, too.” She rests her cheek against Stacie’s temple. “Do you want to tell the other Bellas?”

“Yeah,” Stacie says. “But maybe when we’re together or something. If I tell one before the other, they’ll all know before I even get the chance to call up the next one.”

 Emily smiles into Stacie’s hair. “Yeah, then there will be hell to pay.”

“Yeah.”

They sit like that for a little longer until Emily’s stomach rumbles. Then she helps Stacie up off the floor, puts away the cleaning supplies, and orders them a pizza.

//

Her senior year begins and she moves back into the Bella house. It’s chaotic and crazy and because she took so long to declare her Psych major, Emily’s taking about a zillion credits so she can graduate on time.

This year she decides to sleep in the loft instead of in Stacie and Chloe’s old room. There’s more privacy to do her homework without music drifting up three flights of stairs and sometimes it feels nice to be by herself.

The girls are always giggling and goofing around and singing, and Emily loves them, but she’s feeling a little uninspired this year. She just can’t help but think about how next year she’ll be gone and they’ll still be here, doing this without her and what will _she_ be up to? She has no idea.

She’s kind of starting to understand Chloe’s three year long freak out and that’s a little scary.

Still, she tells herself. It’ll work out. It always does.

//

“Do you like grad school?” She asks Stacie as the semester is wrapping up. The Bellas are at a Treble party but Emily has a final on Monday that she _cannot_ get below an A on and has to study for, so she’d escaped to Stacie’s for the night.

“I love grad school,” Stacie says, leaning over a pot on the stove. Her baby bump is starting to show the slightest amount, but you might not notice if you weren’t looking for it. “I’m gonna miss it.”

Emily frowns. “You could still finish.”

Stacie just shrugs and ignores her. “Why do you ask?”

“I dunno,” Emily says. “I was just thinking maybe I’d apply. I don’t know what else I might do after graduation.”

“It’s really rewarding, but it’s a lot of work. Don’t do it if you’re not one hundred percent committed.”

Emily just hums, unsure how she feels. She’s not sure she’s fully committed to anything about her future right now either way.

//

The Bellas get asked to perform at this fundraiser in Brooklyn over Spring Break and Emily is so excited when she gets the call that she drops her bagel cream-cheese-side down and doesn’t even care.

Most of the old Bellas are living in New York now, so Emily gets on Facebook and makes an event of it, thinking that just what she needs is a Bella reunion. She misses them all so much and has barely seen any of them over the past 2 and half years.

“You have to come,” she begs Stacie. “I’ll book you a ticket under the Bella budget and you can stay in my room, so your expenses will be paid. It’s the perfect opportunity to tell the others about you know,” she glances at Stacie’s belly, “Baby Pluto.”

“Hm,” Stacie hums, counting out her pregnancy vitamins for the week. “Baby is feeling more like Venus this week.”

“Okay,” Emily says quickly, used to Stacie getting planetary vibes from the fetus inside her. “But please come! Chloe, Aubrey, Beca, Flo, and Amy have already RSVPed.”

Stacie smiles at her. “Alright, but I have to make sure I can get off work.”

Emily groans. “I don’t understand why you can’t finish your degree but you can be a Pilates instructor.”

“Because I need the money,” Stacie says, shaking the vitamin bottle. “Pregnancy and babies are expensive. And pilates are brainless and they keep me healthy while the baby is growing inside me. School is stressful, requires too much coffee, and most importantly, you can’t just quit whenever without consequences as much as you can at a job. I’m not gonna pay my tuition just to drop out mid-semester when the baby comes.”

“I know, I know,” Emily whines. “It’s just not fair.”

Stacie pats Emily’s cheek lightly. “We do what we can with the circumstances we have, babe.” Then she pecks Emily briefly on the lips. “Now, get back to your studying. I have to pee again - this baby is sitting right on my damn bladder.”

Emily pouts. “Fine, but you’re coming.”

“Fine,” Stacie calls as she’s walking toward the bathroom.

Emily grins and gets back to her studying.

//

Despite her 21 credits and her stress about the GRE, applying to MA programs and graduation, _and_ the added responsibility of taking care of the hamster Stacie got her for her birthday ( _“I had a really weird dream and stole this little guy from the science lab for you”_ ), Emily feels a burst of energy in the weeks leading up to the Bella reunion.

She puts together a kick ass number for the fundraiser and arranges all the travel plans and everything. She’s so excited to hear about all the cool things the older Bellas are doing and just hang out with them for a night.

Even Stacie seems excited, despite the fact that she keeps complaining that she looks like a whale (she totally doesn’t) and how after this she can’t fly because what if she _pops_.

She’s got just one month left until the baby comes and Emily has two months left until graduation. Everything is really starting to happen.

Sometimes she wonders if this is what it feels to be stuck on a rollercoaster that you can’t get off.

//

So... Emily messed up. Like, royally.

They get to the fundraiser and all the old Bellas are there, which is aca-awesome, but it’s also aca-awkward because Emily is kind of dumb and made it seem like they were all gonna sing together.

Even Stacie thought that’s what she meant when Emily said reunion. She really just meant they would all catch up.

Which like, kind of happens, she guesses. She learns about Chloe applying to vet school and Flo’s juice truck and how Beca got fired. That’s all great. But still, they’re all totally kind of upset and Emily feels super bad until Aubrey says her dad can get them a spot on this USO military tour thing to sing with each other one last time.

This sounds great to Emily, but she has school, and when she meets Stacie’s eyes across the bar, she sees her face fall and knows why.

Stacie can’t go either, which is a good segue into telling everyone she’s pregnant finally, but she can tell Stacie’s a little bummed.

Later when they’re back at the hotel and in their shared bed, Stacie sniffles.

“What’s wrong?” Emily asks in the dark.

“Sorry, it’s these dang baby hormones.” She sighs. “I just can’t believe I’m dropping out of school _and_ missing the last Bella tour.” Emily grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m so excited to meet this baby, Em. But sometimes I can’t help but think I really fucked up.”

“You’re going to be amazing, Stace. None of this is going to compare when you meet little Neptune.”

Stacie rolls over and her belly fills the space between them in bed. “Yeah, I know. It’s the hormones, I’m telling you.”

“Maybe I won’t go either,” Emily murmurs. “I can’t take that time off school right before finals.”

“No,” Stacie gasps. “You have to.

“I don’t want to go without you. What about when the baby’s coming? I can’t miss that!”

Stacie chuckles. “I’ll have my mom and sister there, and I need to live vicariously through you. Please go. Plus,” she nudges Emily with her foot under the covers. “I know you haven’t felt as good about yourself as you did since Worlds.”

Emily frowns. “What? I never said that.”

Stacie ignores her. “Maybe if you perform with them, you’ll get your mojo back. We could all use a little mojo right now.”

They lay in silence for a bit, Emily’s thoughts running away from her. Maybe there’s some truth to what Stacie is saying. She doesn’t know how long she thinks herself in circles, but it’s long enough that she’s surprised when Stacie speaks into the silence.

“Em, are you awake?” She whispers.

“Yeah,” Emily whispers back. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you go to that CVS across the street and get me some pickles? I’m having a craving from hell.”

Emily smiles into her pillow before crawling out of bed and sliding a hoodie on. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Yeah,” Stacie sighs dreamily. “I know.”

//

Emily arranges her absences with her teachers, agreeing to turn in her work early and be back in time for finals. The current Bellas assure her that they don’t feel like she’s ditching them and they know she’ll be back with plenty of time to rehearse for the ICCAs.

Her grad school applications are all sent in and her GRE test date scheduled.

All she has to do is pack.

//

“I can’t believe you’re not coming,” Emily whines for the 12th time as Stacie drops her off at the airport.

“Believe it babe.”

Emily pouts. “I’m gonna miss you so much. It won’t be the same without you.”

Stacie closes the trunk, then settles her hands on her belly. Baby Jupiter, as Stacie has settled on calling it for the moment, is due any day now. “You’re going to be fine. You’ll have the best time. Plus,” she says, “Beca will be there and you guys have always had that thing, right?”

Emily’s face turns down in confusion. “What thing?”

“Like… that collaboration thing. You know, where you guys bounce ideas off each other and whatever. Like at Worlds.”

“Oh,” Emily nods. “Yeah, I guess.”

“See, it’ll be great.”

Emily hefts her suitcase onto the curb and pulls Stacie into a hug. “Call me the second you go into labor, okay? I’m going to be thinking about you the whole time and I’ll be so mad if I don’t know the baby is coming.”

Stacie laughs against the side of Emily’s head. “You got it, babe. Now get your cute butt on that plane.” She pulls away, squeezing Emily’s arms one last time, then pushes her gently toward the doors of the airport.

Emily waves at her and grabs her suitcase. As she walks away, she gets the feeling that even as she’s traveling to meet up with her family, she’s leaving just as much of it behind.

//

Emily’s never been on a military base before so she’s a little overwhelmed by all the activity happening when they get to Spain.

They’re assigned two guys to kind of be their guides and show them around, so that’s a relief, especially as they make their way into the hangar where the stage is and they start to meet the other bands.

Emily is so excited to be performing with the Bellas again, to be back with her sisters and her family, that she barely cares about the contest part of the tour. She wants to tell them all that they should just do what they do best and ignore the taunting of the other groups and they’ll be great enough to win without trying…

But obviously no one listens to her.

It’s been a long time since she’s hung with all the Bellas at once, so Emily kind of forgot about that part.

//

The bands are awesome and probably win the riff-off even if they use instruments.

Emily’s fine with it to be honest.

At least it wasn’t her fault this time.

//

Being back on stage with the Bellas is, for lack of a better word, amazing.

Emily lets the music take over her body and she bounces off CR and has the best time.

If the horn didn’t sound before they could finish, Emily thinks they might’ve actually been really good.

Instead they just embarrass themselves, which like, they’re pretty used to, but still. When they all suggest they go back to their rooms and stuff their faces with chocolate and chill, Emily kind of can’t believe it. They usually bounce back way better than this!

Emily thinks back to how she felt singing with the Bellas again, how happy and free she was, and decides that she has to do something about this. They’re a family, and they can’t just sit down and let some bands with stupid names stomp them into the ground just because the Bellas sing other people’s songs.

Heck no!

So, Emily thinks, and she schemes, and she tries to imagine what she always does in times of need:

What Would Stacie Do?

And it’s so obvious Emily could laugh.

She puts on one of the sexy fun outfits she brought and decides to do some recon, using her cleavage if necessary. She’d overheard one of DJ Khaled’s interns talking about the casino he was staying at, which is right across the street from their hotel, so she heads over there and walks around for a little.

She kind of doesn’t know what she’s looking for, maybe just some inspiration on how to fix this mess of a situation, but in a moment of insane good fortune, she runs into some guy heading toward the elevators.

“Oof, sorry,” she apologizes and moves to go around him, but he stops her.

“Hey, you’re with the Bellas, right?” He’s British and not in one of the other bands so Emily narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

“Uh…”

He offers her a placating smile. “Sorry, I’m Theo. I work with DJ Khaled.”

“Oh!” Wow Emily _cannot_ believe her luck. “Yeah, hi!”

“Hi,” he laughs and Emily thinks he’s kind of charming in a weird nerdy way. He reminds her of some cartoon from her childhood. “Where’s the rest of your group? Aren’t there about ten more of you?”

Emily lifts her hands in a shrug. “Well, like, 8 but, yeah. They’re… you know.” Emily snaps her mouth shut because sometimes she talks too much and says things she probably shouldn’t and she realizes this is not a good time to do that.

“Right,” Theo says. “Well, why don’t you find them and come on up to Khaled’s suite? There’s a party up there and actually, I really want to show Beca something, if you don’t mind.”

“Beca?” Emily raises her eyebrows in confusion. “You know Beca?”

“Well,” he grabs at his neck with a laugh. “We met briefly, and I saw you guys perform. She’s…” He trails off, his eyes growing distant like he’s thinking back to the moment.

Emily nods because yeah, she knows. She used to have Beca-hero-worship once upon a time. But now Beca is like… well, like Beca. Emily loves Beca. “Yeah, she’s amazing.”

“Listen,” he says. “Can you bring them to the party?”

“Yeah, probably,” Emily bounces on her toes happily. She has literally never been this lucky in her life. Like she didn’t even have to do anything. Maybe it’s a sign. “Umm, but maybe like… the Bellas are kind of…” She frowns before continuing. “Proud? Yeah, proud… after the whole awkward performance thing. So maybe if they think it’s like… _their_ idea to come…” She stares at him. “Do you see where I’m going with this?”

He smirks and nods. “I work with musicians and famous people daily, so I think I can see what you’re trying to say.”

“I mean,” Emily backtracks. “They’re not like dicks or anything.”

“I know,” he laughs. “Just bring them into the casino in the next hour and I’ll linger by the elevators and let them think they’re following me up, how’s that?”

“Yes, perfect!” She spins to go, but then decides to say something else so she ends up sort of pirouetting on the spot. “And umm, you didn’t see me here, got it?” She points her finger at him.

He zips his lips. “Not a peep from me.”

“Sweet. I’ll be back.” Then she dashes back to the hotel feeling like the most accomplished little spy on the planet.

She has the Stacie Method on lock.

//

Somehow her plan totally works.

She did not see that coming, but when she finds herself up in DJ Khaled’s suite she has to hand it to herself.

She did good.

She wishes she could tell Stacie.

When they’re back in DJ Khaled’s good graces by the next morning, she hopes everyone knows that the events of the night are all thanks to her.

//

NEVER MIND.

SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF IT.

//

Okay, fine, she did have something to do with the hole in balcony doors, but like _hello_. There was a swarm of _bees_.

What was she supposed to do, if not pick up a guitar and smash a hole in the damn things?

But the fire and broken table and stuff? Totally not her.

//

“Don’t worry,” Beca says to her later. “It could’ve been worse.”

“I broke DJ Khaled’s balcony windows and he hates us,” Emily mutters, still in shock.

“I broke a window once and went to jail.”

Emily does a double take. “You’ve been in _jail_?”

“Oh yeah,” Beca smirks. “So count your blessings it’s not that bad.”

Emily just groans.

//

The next morning is rough.

Everyone is tired, Ashley has a huge bruise on her butt, and their pride is even lower than before.

Emily thinks Amy’s dad trying to get in touch with her is a silver lining, but she really should just learn to keep her mouth shut about stuff. Especially to Amy.

“Emily, you are so inarticulate!”

Beca grabs Amy’s arm just as she’s moving to take a swing at Emily. “I got this. No Ames! Get back,” she tells Emily and tugs Amy away.

“Oh my God,” Chloe gasps among the ruckus. “Stacie’s FaceTiming.”

They crowd around Chloe’s phone, standing on the steps of the hotel so they can all see. Emily has never been so glad to see Stacie in her whole life, and her jaw drops when she sees Stacie’s in a hospital gown.

“I had the baby,” she says, and she’s teary eyed and glowing and looks so, so exhausted. “Her name is Bella.”

Emily wants to cry when she sees the tiny baby in Stacie’s arms. She’s never seen anyone so small and perfect.

“I love you guys,” Stacie says before she hangs up, and Emily remembers why she’s here and not there with her best friend, holding her hand and staring at a tiny miracle.

“Can we please stop trying to win this contest you guys,” she begs. “Can we just sing together like old times?”

Emily just wants to embrace how it feels to perform with them and not think about winning or the other bands.

She breathes a sigh of relief when they all agree.

//

She FaceTimes Stacie herself as soon as they get to Italy. She doesn’t even know what time it is in LA where Stacie is, but Stacie picks up so maybe it’s not too late.

“Stace!”

“Shh,” Stacie hushes into the camera. “She’s sleeping.” She moves the phone down so Emily can see the outline of a sleepy baby against Stacie’s chest.

“She perfect,” Emily whispers. “Congratulations!”

Stacie beams at her. “Thanks. Sorry I didn’t call you. It just started happening and then it was all a rush.”

“It’s okay. I’m just so happy you’re both safe and healthy.”  

“Em,” Stacie bites her lip around her smile. She’s beautiful and there’s this shine about her that Emily’s never seen before. She feels love beat a drumroll in her chest. “I named her Isabella Emily Conrad.”

Emily almost drops her phone. “Isabella… Emily… Like…” She points to herself.

“Yeah, after her godmother.”

Emily’s entire body goes slack. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”

“If you want to,” Stacie winks.

“If I - Of course I want to!” Emily bounces excitedly. “Can I see her again?” Stacie chuckles and moves the phone off her face. Emily just stares at the girl… her goddaughter. “Hello, Bella,” she whispers. “I’m gonna be the coolest godmother ever, I promise.”

Stacie lifts the phone to her face again. “I love you, Em.”

“Oh my God, I love you too. I love you so much.” Emily could cry, she’s so happy.

Stacie tells her all about her trip to the hospital (sometimes giving maybe too much detail) and Emily catches her up on everything happening overseas. Stacie googles the other bands and snorts when she sees Evermoist.

“Let me guess, Beca’s up in arms about the lead singer?”

Emily grins and shakes her head. “Surprisingly no, but I think Chloe has a thing for this army guy here.”

“Oooh,” Stacie coos. “God, I miss Bella drama.”

“I wish you were here,” Emily pouts, but Stacie shakes her head.

“I have never wanted to be anywhere else less, honestly.” Stacie covers up a yawn. “Except maybe in bed. I’m gonna get some rest, Em. Talk later, okay?”

They hang up and Emily flops down on her bed. Seconds later, a picture comes through of Bella, her bright blue eyes looking right at the camera.

Emily immediately sets it as her phone background.

She knows already that she totally has the best goddaughter ever.

//

 

Nothing of consequence happens in Italy except the Bellas totally crushing their performances and definitely moving up in the running to be chosen by DJ Khaled.

Oh, and Emily tries real Italian food.

She’s in heaven.

//

They get a day off when they get to France, so they hang around their fancy hotel and chill by the pool.

Theo takes Beca away and they all think he’s telling her who they chose to open for Khaled. She’s gone for a while and Amy goes to meet up with her dad, so they all head down to the café across the street for drinks and a bite to eat.

CR thinks Beca is getting it on with Theo, but Emily can’t help but wonder if it’s similar to what he wanted to see her for the other night.

Maybe she should’ve told the other Bellas about that, but she kind of forgot in the chaos of the party and like, totally ruining DJ Khaled’s suite.

Still, Chicago sends a driver to get them and take them to some secret announcement reception so maybe Theo really was just telling Beca that the Bellas are going to open for him.

Emily is so excited!

//

Turns out the driver did not belong to the Army and they instead are involved in a terrifying hostage kidnapping situation.

Yeah, it’s as crazy as it sounds.

//

Emily tries to keep her head (what would Stacie do???) but their cell phones don’t have service and nobody can hear them screaming.

She’s kind of panicking.

Where are Beca and Amy????

//

So, Amy’s dad is kind of crazy?

Amy, like as a person, suddenly makes a lot more sense to Emily.

//

Beca somehow manages to pop out of nowhere and has them start singing. Emily has no idea what’s going on, but it seems best to just roll with it.

//

When Amy crashes through the glass roof of the yacht, everything spins into chaos.

Beca pushes her toward the deck of the boat. “Legacy, jump, quick!”

She doesn’t have to tell Emily twice.

Emily plunges into the cold water and uses her long arms to swim toward Jessica and Ashley. There’s a small row boat nearby so she pushes them toward that just as the yacht basically explodes behind her.

Fear shoots through her and she paddles in a circle, looking for Amy and Beca. She finds Beca a few paces away and grabs onto her.

“Are you okay?” She yells over the rush of water and the screaming and explosions around them.

Beca grabs onto the boat with one hand and Emily’s arm with another. “Ask me again when we get out of this.”

Helicopters swarm the air and high-speed motorboats surround them in the water.

Emily doesn’t let go of Beca until they’re in one of the boats, given a hot beverage, and are being wrapped up in blankets.

//

It might be shock, but nothing about being in that whole hostage crisis feels real.

//

It turns out DJ Khaled didn’t pick the Bellas to open for him, but he did pick Beca.

Beca tries to explain that she can’t do it without them, but they’re all in agreement: she has to do it. Amy says something about how being a family means lifting each other up to be the best you can be, which like, Emily has basically been saying that this whole freaking trip!

If she could look into the camera like she’s on _The Office_ , she would.

She guesses if there’s one thing she’s learned from being a Bella and from this trip, it’s that maybe it’s not about the competitions you win, or the trophies you get, or the songs you sing.

Maybe it’s about the family that you make along the way.

//

And, of course, the hostage crises you survive.

//

Seeing Beca on that stage takes Emily back to the night they first met.

The party, the music, the lights. They were both so young then, especially Emily. She can’t believe how much they’ve grown as people. She’s so _proud_ , not just of Beca, but of all of them.

Beca brings them all on stage, her eyes misty and her smile wide.

Emily is twenty-two and caught up in a moment.

She thinks of sneaking into the recording studio Beca used to work at, the two of them playing around with the equipment and recording Emily’s song, afraid they’d get caught but loving it anyway.

And now look at them - look at _Beca_. She hugs them all, and it feels like she chose this song specifically to say thank you.

_I won’t let you down_ , she sings. _I will not give you up._

Emily always falls in love with her whole heart, deeply and fully, and this moment is no exception.

She’s in love with this song and her Bellas and life.

Being on that stage, Beca singing to all of them, squeezing Emily so tight she can’t breathe, Emily feels a rush of inspiration and happiness.

Emily is twenty-two, and she doesn’t have much figured out, but she does know that everything about this moment and this trip is wrapped up in who she is supposed to be and who she might become.

//

After the show, they all head back to their rooms to get some sleep. Their plane back to the states is bright and early the next morning and they’re all exhausted from the trip and that whole kidnapping thing.

Emily’s in her pajamas and getting ready to turn the light off when there’s a knock at her door. She looks through the peep-hole and smiles when she sees Beca.

“Hey,” she says when she opens the door.

“Hey,” Beca says back, looking her up and down, taking in Emily’s jammies. Emily blushes because Stacie bought them for her and they have ducks on them. “Oh, sorry, were you in bed?”

“Not yet,” Emily shrugs. “What’s up?”

Beca sticks her hands in her sweatpants pockets and rocks on her toes. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

Emily’s nose crinkles in confusion. “For what?”

“Theo told me what you did,” Beca says. Her eyes skirt around until they settle on Emily’s face. Emily feels like she’s being x-rayed.

“Uh. I didn’t do anything?”

Beca smiles at her. “Well, he told me how you like, got the Bellas to go to Khaled’s suite so he could talk to me, and if wasn’t for that, I’m not sure everything would’ve happened like it did, you know?” She shrugs. “So just, thanks.”

“Well, you’re welcome I guess.” Emily reaches out and squeezes Beca’s arm. “I’m really happy for you Beca. I love seeing you perform. You like, totally inspire me.” Emily laughs at herself a little. “I mean, you always have.”

Beca bites her lower lip, a fond expression taking over her face. “Yeah, you inspire me, too dude. And,” she pauses to scratch at her nose. “If you start writing music again, let me know, okay? I couldn’t have like, done any of this without the Bellas, and maybe I can do something for you guys in return. So just like, send me your stuff, okay? Don’t give up.”

Emily feels love grow in her chest. “Okay.” She wraps Beca up in a hug. “I love you, Beca.”

Beca laughs into Emily’s chest before sinking into the hug and squeezing back. “I love you too, dude.” She pats Emily on the back and lets go. “Well, get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, you too. Goodnight.”

“Night.” Beca smiles at her and heads back to her room.

Emily finishes getting ready for bed and turns off the light. She can’t help smiling into her pillow as she tries to go to sleep.

Emily has always fallen into love deeply, and she kind of thinks the past week has been a lot like a love story.

It’s just instead of a person, Emily is starting to fall in love with her life again.


	4. Hey Stephen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She feels like there’s a million things in Beca’s smile, in the way her eyes look at Emily with curiosity and fondness and something else. It leaves Emily feeling unbalanced, wishing she knew what Beca was thinking."

Emily wakes to someone crawling into bed with her. She can feel their presence inches away from her nose, staring into her face. She smiles to herself and pretends she’s still sleeping.

“Wake up,” a small voice whispers.

She pretends to start snoring.

“Ugh, I know you’re awake, Aunt Em. Please!”

She opens her eyes sleepily. “Who dares disturb my beauty rest?” She growls, grabbing at the tiny girl next to her. She lets out a peal of laughter as Emily scoops her into her arms.

“Nooooo,” she giggles as Emily tickles her sides. “Please, Aunt Em! Stop!”

“Well, okay,” Emily says, her fingers stilling. “Only because you said please.”

The girl flops on Emily with a grunt. “Mom went to work and said I have to wake you up.”

“Did she?” Emily hums, blowing the girl’s blonde hair out of her face. “Well, I’m up.”

Bella beams at her. “Mom said you should take me hiking.”

“Your mom says a lot of things, doesn’t she?”

“Yes.”

Emily pushes herself into a sitting position, grunting when Bella clings to her neck. “Well, then I guess we’re going hiking.” She lifts the girl into her lap and kisses her forehead. “Just let me get dressed. Why don’t you go find your sunglasses?”

“Okay.” She gives Emily a hug and scampers off. Emily can hear her thumping down the hall. Then she groans and pushes herself out of bed and into her bathroom.

What she wouldn’t give for five more minutes of sleep.

//

Emily is twenty-six and a part-time school counselor and full-time Aunt.

It’s summer break, so she only goes into the school twice a week to deal with admin stuff and summer school kids who need help. She spends most of her time entertaining a four-year old Bella (the child, not a collegiate a cappella member) and writing music.

She’d gotten her Master’s at UC Berkeley and then her school counselor licensure. Now she lives in LA with Stacie and Bella while Stacie models and works as a yogalates instructor for B level actresses. Because Emily is off in the summer for the most part, that means she gets the wonderful job of babysitting, which is just fine with her. During the school year, she deals with snotty high school students, so chilling with her favorite kid all day is honestly one of Emily’s greatest happinesses in life.

Even if it means she has to be up at the crack of dawn and she drinks about 8 cups of coffee per day just to keep up with the girl.

“Sit down, Bell, please. Just for five minutes.”

Emily fans herself, slumping into the chair outside of her favorite smoothie shop. It’s too expensive, but Emily firmly believes in the treat-yoself philosophy. And after running up a trail after a spritely four-year-old? She needs to treat herself.

 “Aunt Em?”

“Hm?” Emily tries to cover her yawn with her hand.

“Why do clouds change shapes?”

Emily leans on her elbow, thinking. “I’m not sure, you’ll have to ask your mom.”

“Okay.” Bella slurps her smoothie, a loud gurgle indicating she’s reached the bottom of the cup. She pouts and pushes her purple sunglasses up on her nose. Emily grins at her fondly and uses a napkin to wipe a drop of smoothie off her cheek. “Aunt Em?”

“Yeah baby?”

“That lady’s staring at you.”

Emily glances in the direction Bella is looking, but doesn’t see anyone staring at her. “What lady?”

“In the sunglasses.”

Emily doesn’t ask how she knows someone is staring at her when they’re wearing sunglasses. Instead she just looks around, lost. It’s LA in the summer so basically everyone is wearing sunglasses and Bella could honestly be talking about any lady in their general vicinity. But then Emily sees her.

And her heart almost falls out of her chest.

“Do you know her?” Bella asks, tugging on Emily’s hand.

“Yeah, I know her.”

“Hey lady!” Bella yells. “We know you!”

Emily puts her hand over Bella’s mouth, horrified. “Bell!”

“What?”

Emily’s face heats up when a shadow falls over her. “Well,” says a familiar voice. “I know one of you, but who might this little… thing… be?”

Emily stands up and pulls the smaller girl into a hug, sinking into the nostalgia and familiarity of it. “Hi Bec.”

“Hi Em.” Beca laughs and pulls back, looking down at Emily’s side where Bella has migrated. She glances back at Emily curiously.

Emily nudges Bella in front of her. “This is Beca, Bella. Say hi.”

“Hi,” Bella says and reaches her hand out politely, just like her mom taught her. Beca stares at Bella incredulously before taking her small hand and giving it a shake.

“Bella… as in?” Beca meets Emily’s eyes.

Emily nods, her hands coming down to rest on the young girl’s shoulders. “Stacie’s daughter.”

“Oh.” Beca smiles in her familiar Beca way, awkward but not unkind. It makes Emily’s stomach do backflips. “Hi Bella. I’m Beca. I was in the… Bellas… with your mom.” She pauses. “And Emily.”

Bella looks at her. “Is that from your picture?”

“What picture?”

“With the gold outfits. On your wall.”

Emily beams. “Yeah.”

Bella nods in understanding and turns back to Beca. “My mom is really good at singing. Aunt Em plays the piano. I’m learning, but I’m not good yet. Mom says I’ll get better if I practice. And ummmmm, when my hands get bigger.”

“I see,” Beca says, grinning over at Emily. “Well, your mom is right.”

“Beca is a musician, too, Bell,” Emily says. “Like a real one.”

“A real one?” Bella tilts her head to the side curiously. “Like Lady Gaga?”

Emily barely covers up her snort and Beca shoots Emily an incredulous look. “I mean. Sort of.” She leans in close to Emily. “You let her listen to Lady Gaga? She’s like… six.”

“I’m four,” Bella frowns.

“Right,” Beca nods. “Of course. My bad.”

“It’s okay,” Bella says easily. “I’m pretty tall.”

Emily’s heart softens and she absentmindedly runs a hand over Bella’s hair before looking at Beca. “So what are you doing here? How are you?”

Beca shrugs nonchalantly and Emily can’t help but just stare at her face. She looks the same but also different. Older and confident. There’s a shine about her that makes butterflies take off in Emily’s chest.

“I’m good. You know. Same old. But how about you?” She gestures at Emily. “You seem good.”

“Yeah,” Emily nods. I am.”

Beca stares at her for a second, then rocks forward on her toes. “You know, I’m - ” Her phone buzzes loudly and Beca glances at it. “Shit.” Then her eyes widen and skitter toward Bella. “I mean… shoot.”

Emily laughs. “Gotta go?”

“Yeah,” Beca frowns. “I have this meeting…” She pushes her sunglasses up on her head and looks at Emily. “Do you live here?”

“Yeah,” Emily nods. “Not too far from here.”

“I didn’t realize that. Amy keeps telling me to get back on Facebook, but. Yeah. I just moved here a few weeks ago.”

Emily tilts her head to the side questioningly. “What happened to New York?”

“I mean,” Beca shrugs. “I’m back and forth, but I’m working on some new stuff here, so I’ve relocated, at least temporarily.” She gestures at her phone. “Is your number still the same? We should get together. Stacie too.”

“Yeah,” Emily smiles. “I’d love that.”

“Cool,” Beca says and addresses Bella again. “Well it was really nice to meet you Bella. I hope I can see you again.”

“Okay,” Bella nods and sways on her feet tiredly. Emily thinks it’s almost naptime.

Beca squeezes Emily’s shoulder. “You look really great, Em. I almost didn’t recognize you.” Beca cringes. “I mean, not that you didn’t look great before. You just seem… er. Happy, or older, or... you know what I’m just gonna stop talking now.”

Emily laughs. “Yes, my sweaty workout look has that effect on people.”

Beca shrugs. “I mean, just… you, like, in general.”

“Well, thanks,” Emily can’t stop smiling. Wow, she didn’t realize how much she missed Beca until the girl was standing right in front of her. “I’m really glad I ran into you.”

“Yeah,” Beca agrees. “Me too. I’ll call you guys.”

“Okay,” Emily says and Beca waves goodbye.

Emily watches her go, wondering why she suddenly feels like she has a bigger spring in her step.

//

“Mom! I met another Bella today.”

Emily laughs from her spot on the couch as the front door closes and Bella bounds over to Stacie.

“Another Bella? Was she nice?”

“She was old.”

Emily snorts. “Bella.”

“What? She was as old as you.”

Stacie meets Emily’s eyes as she sets her work bag down by the door. “I’m going to pretend that’s a compliment.”

“We saw Beca,” Emily clarifies. “She just moved here.”

“Beca Mitchell?”

Emily nods. “Yup.”

“Oh.”

“She seems to be doing really well.” Emily remembers the feeling of something new but familiar that washed over her when she saw Beca. “She seems happy.”

“I think she’s grumpy looking,” Bella interjects, trying to do a somersault on the carpet, but failing and plopping over on her side. “She looks like, ummmm, Rapunzel’s mom but pretty.”

Emily lets out a laugh. “I mean, she always looks like that. But she’s really nice. Not a witch.”

Stacie flops on the couch, her eyes narrowing in Emily’s direction. “Why is your face doing that?”

“What?” Emily frowns.

Stacie gestures in her direction. “That thing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s making your crush face.”

Emily stares at her. “My _what_ face?”

Stacie grins knowingly. “Your crush face.”

“My _crush_ face?”

“Yeah,” Stacie nods. “Like when you started dating that guy Shawn last year and couldn’t stop smiling at your phone.”

Emily scoffs. “That guy was a jerk.”

“Well, yeah,” Stacie rolls her eyes. “But _before_ you knew that. You kept making that crush face.”

“Crush? What is this, ninth grade?”

A smile takes over Stacie’s face and Emily doesn’t like it one bit. “You’re not denying it.”

“Denying _what_?”

“You’re crushing on Beca.”

Emily feels heat rush up her neck. “Oh my God, I am not. We saw her for like, five minutes.”

“Mom, what’s a crush?” Bella crawls into Stacie’s lap and Stacie touches their noses together happily.

“It’s when someone makes you feel all gooey inside and you want to kiss them.”

“Gooey?” Bella sticks her tongue out. “Ew.”

Emily can’t help but agree. “Yeah, ew.”

Stacie just smirks at her. “Uh huh.”

“Aunt Em wrote a new song today, Mom.”

Stacie raises an eyebrow. Emily feels like she’s been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and doesn’t know why. “Is that right?”

“Will you stop looking at me like that?” She whines.

“Hm. No.” Stacie picks Bella up and swings her around. “Guess what time it is? BATH TIME!”

“Aw, Mom!”

Emily laughs. “Someone definitely needs a bath after being all sweaty today.”

“I wasn’t!” Bella pouts. “Can I do it tomorrow?”

“No,” Stacie replies, burying her face in Bella’s neck. “You’re dirty.”

“But Mooooom.”

“Butt Mom?” She gasps. “Did you hear that, Em. I’m a butt mom.” Emily shakes her head in amusement as Stacie carries Bella down the hall, chanting, “Butt Mom Butt Mom Butt Mom.”

She hears the bath start and glances at her phone, wondering if Beca texted her. There’s nothing there and disappointment grows in Emily’s chest.

She tries not to think about what that means.

//

Beca doesn’t text for a few days, but when she does, it’s to invite them all over to her place for dinner one Sunday evening.

Emily makes her mom’s famous mac salad recipe and Stacie picks up some wine and they head over. When they pull up, Stacie lifts her sunglasses off her eyes and places them on top of her head, looking impressed.

“Beca hasn’t done too bad for herself, I guess.”

Emily nods. Beca’s place isn’t anything super fancy by L.A. standards, but her house seems about three sizes bigger than Stacie and Emily’s place, and a hell of a lot nicer.

Stacie grabs the food and Emily unbuckles Bella from her carseat, hefting the girl up on her hip when she wraps her arms around Emily’s neck.

“Who are we seeing again?” She asks against Emily’s cheek, her wide eyes taking in the nice yard and the overhang separating a back porch from the neighbor’s place.

“Mine and Mommy’s friend from college. Remember when we saw that lady while we were getting smoothies?” Bella nods and Emily absentmindedly kisses her hair. “She’s really nice, promise.”

“Okay.”

They head up to the front door and Emily lets Bella ring the doorbell. They wait only a few seconds before the door opens and Beca’s there smiling at them.

Then she disappears again as Stacie dwarfs her in a huge hug.

“Beca Mitchell, you’re looking sexier than ever!”

There’s a muffled grunt from inside the cloak of Stacie’s hair. “You... Stacie… boobs.”

“Thank you,” Stacie says before releasing Beca, who pulls back and runs a hand through her hair, flustered. Then she smiles over in Emily’s direction.

“Hi Em. Hi Bella.”

Bella offers a small wave, one hand still clinging to Emily’s neck.

Emily lets out a laugh, her free hand reaching out to squeeze Beca’s bicep. “Thanks for inviting us over.”

“Yeah, of course. I missed you guys.” Beca shrugs happily and steps back. “Sorry come inside. We’re just like, chillin’ in the doorway.”

They follow her inside and down a hallway toward the kitchen and adjoined family room. Emily sets Bella down on the couch.

“Aunt Em,” Bella whispers and Emily leans down closer.

“What’s up?”

“I’m thirsty.”

Emily chuckles and brushes Bella’s hair away from her face. “Okay.” She turns to Beca, who’s chatting with Stacie about something. “Can I get her some water?”

Beca points toward the kitchen. “Yeah, help yourself to whatever, or I can get it for you.”

“No, no, I got it.”

She goes into the kitchen, opening all the cupboards until she finds the glasses. Then she dispenses water from the fridge, popping a few ice cubes in the cup. When she gets back to the family room, Beca and Stacie are crowded around Bella, pointing at a framed photograph clutched in her tiny hands.

“...and Amy and Lilly and Cynthia Rose,” Stacie is saying, her fingers tracing over the picture.

Emily leans over to look at the picture. “Whatcha got there?”

Bella grins up at her. “It’s you, Aunt Em.”

“I see that,” Emily smiles at the picture of the Bellas at Worlds. It almost feels like a different lifetime. “And there’s your mom.”

“Uh, and me,” Beca scoffs playfully. “Alright, let’s eat, I’m starving.” She gently takes the picture back and hangs it on the wall among a collection of framed photographs.

Emily drifts over to look at them while Stacie and Bella follow Beca into the kitchen.

Besides a picture of Amy, Chloe, and Beca, one of Beca and Jesse at Universal Studios, and one of Beca and her dad, there’s another picture of the Bellas in Italy on the USO tour. Emily remembers the moment. They’d all just gotten gelato and Chicago had offered to take their picture as a group.

Beca is front and center and smiling at the camera, her arms around Chloe and Flo. Cynthia Rose and Amy aren’t even looking in the direction the camera, their tongues licking at their gelato. Jessica, Ashley, and Lilly are making goofy faces (or in Lilly’s case just staring deadpan into the lens). Emily’s face is blurred, but she’s smiling at Aubrey, the two of them laughing at something Aubrey had just said.

Emily loves this picture, loves remembering how she felt taking it.

It fills her with nostalgia for different times, aching but happy. She can’t believe it was taken four years ago. She feels so different now, like the girl in that picture was a completely different person.

She doesn’t look that much different, but she feels different. She feels older and more settled, less awkward and unsure.

She hears Beca and Stacie laughing at something in the kitchen and wonders if they feel different, too. She’s sure Stacie does. She wasn’t even in the picture because her life had just changed so drastically. Emily knows she wouldn’t trade that for anything.

But what about Beca?

Does she feel different? Does she feel the shine on herself that Emily can see, like Beca’s eased into the person she was always meant to be?

And what do they see when they look at her?

Do they still see that same flustered and clumsy girl, the Legacy she came to them as?

Or do they see the person Emily sees when she looks in the mirror? Someone tired and older, but happy, content with her life and more assured of who she is, comfortable in her skin.

Emily smiles at the version of herself in the picture. She looks so free and giggly, young and in love with the moment. She always used to fall in love with moments, big and small. She’d forgotten that about herself.

“Em, are you coming?” Beca calls from the kitchen, and maybe it’s because she’s looking at the picture or feeling sentimental, but it takes her back to her freshman year of college and nights she used to spend at the Bella house.

The rattle of dishes together sounds the same, and Stacie’s laughter and Beca’s sharp retort. And she guesses it’s just because she was thinking about it, but she falls in love with the moment. Just a little. Just enough that something wakes within her, something that she hadn’t noticed had been dormant and sleeping.

She’s not sure what it is, but as she walks into the kitchen and sees Beca and Bella sticking their tongues out at each other, Stacie pouring them drinks, Emily feels it swirling in the air around her like the electricity of a storm.

She won’t realize it until much later, but she’s remembering what it feels like to be truly at home.

//

After dinner they catch each other up on their lives and what’s been going on with the other Bellas.

Beca tells them some stories about how she continued opening for DJ Khaled on his tour. Now she creates her own stuff, sometimes performing it and sometimes selling it. Like she apparently wrote that new Selena Gomez song that’s been Emily’s jam for like two weeks, so that’s pretty cool.

They talk about how Flo’s about to open her first franchise out of state, and how Aubrey followed through on being a doula, and how Amy used her multimillion dollar fortune to open a mermaid dancing studio in New York and her techniques are being featured in all kinds of music videos of the successful and famous.

Jessica and Ashley opened a bakery in Boston, and Cynthia Rose is still in flight school. Lilly may or may not have been repossessed by Satan. The jury is still out on that since she disappeared from all social media and has effectively become a cryptid.

Chloe and Chicago are living in Georgia and apparently have like, 6 dogs. Beca still FaceTimes with her weekly.

“She pretty much gets a new dog every time he gets deployed, even if it’s just for a short time and not even overseas,” Beca rolls her eyes fondly.

She scrolls through a bunch of pictures of Chloe’s rescue dogs for Stacie and Bella’s benefit. Emily excuses herself to go to the restroom. It kind of takes her longer than expected because she gets distracted smelling all the candles in Beca’s bathroom, partly because she thinks it’s un-Becalike to have candles in the bathroom and partly because Emily loves candles.

Maybe she should put candles in her bathroom...

When she opens the door, she jumps, her hand coming up to her mouth. “Bella! What are you doing?”

“Mom told me to make sure you didn’t fall in,” Bella shrugs cutely and Emily laughs.

“Well I’m just fine.”

Bella grabs her hand, giving it a pull. “Look.”

“Look at what?” Emily lets herself be led into the room next to the front door that they’d passed on their way in. It’s a sitting room with high ceilings, a fireplace, and few couches. Tucked into the corner is a glossy black piano.

“Will you play, Aunt Em?”

“Uhhh.” She looks over her shoulder, unsure if it’s okay. But it’s Beca, so it probably is, and Emily hasn’t sat at a piano in ages. At home, she just has her keyboard that she’s had since high school.

Bella gives her puppy eyes. “Pleeeease?”

As if Emily could resist that.

She gingerly sits on the bench, her fingers hovering over the keys. She pats the space beside her and Bella clambers up until they’re sitting side by side.

“What should I play?” She presses lightly on a key, barely hard enough to make a sound. “That song from _Tangled_ you like?”

“The one from the other day,” Bella says, looking at Emily with hopeful eyes and a small smile.

Emily shifts, uncertain. “The one I wrote?”

Bella just shrugs. Then nods.

Emily really only has a melody in her head and she’s not sure she can remember all the lyrics she jotted down while she was drinking coffee, but she starts playing anyway.

Bella’s eyes stare transfixed on Emily’s fingers as they slowly begin to play, still half unsure. But then Emily’s confidence grows and she lets herself enjoy it, the way the music fills her and how it feels connecting one note to the next to create something beautiful.

She starts to sing quietly, just so Bella can hear above the music, fragments of her unfinished lyrics about meeting someone and being swept up in their magic.

She loves the way the last note leaves an imprint in the air when she’s done playing, how it’s slowly swallowed up by the silence of an ending. Bella leans her head against Emily’s arm, yawning, and Emily smiles fondly.

“So you do still write music?” A voice asks from behind her and Emily knows it’s Beca without turning around.

She smiles to herself. “Sometimes.”

Bella slides off the bench and Emily shifts so she can see behind her. Beca’s leaning on the armrest of one of the couches, Stacie beside her. Stacie lifts Bella up in her arms, laughing when Bella tucks herself into Stacie’s neck, her thumb going into her mouth.

“It sounds great,” Beca praises, and it fills Emily with a familiar happiness. She forgot how good it feels to have Beca approve of her music. Different than when other people do. Emily feels like Beca’s approval actually means something.

“Thanks,” Emily says, her cheeks flushing when Beca smiles at her. She feels like there’s a million things in Beca’s smile, in the way her eyes look at Emily with curiosity and fondness and something else. It leaves Emily feeling unbalanced, wishing she knew what Beca was thinking.

Bella lets out another yawn and Stacie hoists her further into her arms. “I think that’s our cue to go,” she says, quirking her head in Emily’s direction and then toward the door. Emily stands up and makes her way toward them. “Thanks for having us over, Bec.” Stacie uses her free arm to give Beca a hug. “I missed you. We need to get together more if you’re living here.”

“Yeah, dude, for sure.” Beca grins and jiggles Bella’s foot lightly. “Bye Bella.”

Bella waves, her thumb still in her mouth, and they all laugh.

Emily grabs their bags from the living room while Stacie gets Bella settled in the car. She gives Beca a hug at the door.

“Sorry for like, playing your piano without asking,” Emily grins.

“Don’t worry about it,” Beca says, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “I hardly ever play it, to be honest. It doesn’t get enough use.”

“Well, maybe I’ll have to come back and fix that,” Emily laughs, giving Beca’s arm a squeeze. “And to see you, of course. But mostly for the piano.”

Beca shakes her head. “Well, yeah of course. Come over, like, whenever. Actually, you know what,” she says. “I’m playing a small show next Saturday. You and Stacie should come. I’ll text you the details.”

“Yeah,” Emily beams. “I’d love to.”

“Cool,” Beca nods, rocking forward on her feet.

They look at each other for a second, waiting for the other to say something. Stacie honks the car horn outside and Emily jumps a little.

“Right. I better…” She gestures out the door with a smile. “Uh. Yeah. Bye Beca.”

Beca chuckles lightly. “Bye, Emily. Drive safe.”

“Yeah. You too. I mean. You’re not… Yeah. Nevermind. Kay bye.”

Emily heads to the car before she makes a fool of herself, waving over her shoulder.

“What was that about?” Stacie asks her when she gets in the car.

“What was what?”

“Uh, you two like, staring at each other in the doorway?”

Emily shoots Stacie a confused look, but heat rushes into her cheeks anyway as if to subconsciously betray her. “She was inviting us to her show next week.”

“To her show?”

“Mhmm,” Emily hums, staring out of the car window as Stacie pulls away from Beca’s place.

Emily’s not sure if she imagines it or not, but she thinks she sees a shadow crossing over the front room window and sitting down at the piano to play.


	5. SuperStar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Emily might forget Beca was famous at all, except for the times they’re in public together and people ask her for pictures and stop her to say how much they love her music. Emily waits politely to the side and Beca always seems embarrassed afterward, apologizing to her, but Emily doesn’t mind that much."

Emily spends the summer outside with Bella. They go to the beach and find fun things to do downtown. They go hiking and swimming and to the park. Freckles appears on Bella’s cheeks and Emily develops a deep tan.

Beca joins them once a week for dinner, sometimes at their place and sometimes they go to Beca’s. She lets Bella try out her beat pad. Bella loves to touch the buttons based on their colors and Beca hovers nervously over her the entire time. Emily and Stacie love to watch them together because they’re super awkward, which they think is cute. Beca is hesitant and always speaks to Bella like she’s an adult, and Bella is constantly telling Beca she talks funny and looks grumpy, to which Beca scowls and says she isn’t. Emily finds it hilarious and adorable.

Emily also attends shows Beca puts on whenever she gets a chance. Stacie comes with her sometimes if she can get a babysitter. Emily watches from side-stage or in the back of the crowd and always gets a drink with Beca afterward.

She loves to watch Beca make music in real-time. She looks so alive and beautiful and lost inside herself, like nobody else exists, not even a crowd of dancing bodies or screaming fans.

Which, Beca does have. It surprises Emily the first time she goes to one of Beca’s gigs. She guesses Beca has good press with DJ Khaled’s label, but Emily just really never considered anyone she knew could be famous. Like _actually_ famous. She knew it could happen, it just didn’t seem… real. Not in the way Beca is anyway.

Sure, Beca’s no Taylor Swift, but tickets to her shows always sell out, and people know her songs and tweet at her and ask her for autographs.

It’s confusing and exciting to Emily, like some bizarre world she gets to step into a few times per month.

Beca is humble and awkward with her fans in the most endearing of ways, but to Emily, she’s just Beca. She always is just Beca. The girl she’s seen trip in heels and dangle from a bear net in the middle of the woods when she hasn’t had a shower.

And she thinks to Beca, she’s just Emily. Beca still teases her and they get coffee together. Beca doesn’t have any social media except Twitter, but Emily forces her to take Snapchats with her to send to the Bellas. Beca makes grumpy faces and flips them off, and then smiles into Emily’s shoulder when they respond with their own rude hand gestures or scathing remarks (all joking of course).

She lets Emily into her shows for free and never gives away the surprise when Emily tries to guess the setlist. They get drinks after and Beca listens when Emily tells her about all the things she’s doing with Bella and stories from her past two years as a school counselor.

Emily might forget Beca was famous at all, except for the times they’re in public together and people ask her for pictures and stop her to say how much they love her music. Emily waits politely to the side and Beca always seems embarrassed afterward, apologizing to her, but Emily doesn’t mind that much.

“Is it weird getting recognized like that?” She asks Beca after one such occasion.

“Sort of,” Beca replies, shoving her sunglasses back on her face and pulling her hood over her baseball cap, trying to look more inconspicuous. Emily secretly loves it as a look; Beca looks tinier and grumpier than ever. “I get it when people relate to the music, but sometimes it’s weird. Fans are like, really invested in me as a person and always tell me they relate to me so much. Like, from a music standpoint that kind of makes sense, you know? That’s why we like music in the first place. But they don’t know me. They think they do, but they don’t. They follow my Twitter and watch my interviews and think they like who I am as a person or get invested in my personal life, and it’s just like, what’s that about? They have no idea about who I am.”

Emily hums thoughtfully. “I think I get it. Like, they know what you’ve done and they might know your favorite band or food and where you went to college or something, but that doesn’t mean they get like, your soul or whatever.”

Beca smirks over at her. “Yeah I guess, if you want to be all cheesy about it.”

Emily nudges her with her shoulder as they walk. “Well _I_ know who you are.”

“Yeah,” Beca says thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

The thought fills Emily with happiness for the rest of the day.

//

Emily wonders if that makes her different. If knowing Beca, truly knowing her, separates her from the rest.

She watches her fans at shows, the ones who know all the words and stay after just to get a glimpse of Beca, the ones who tweet about how hot Beca is and how they want to marry her. They all know who she is, but Beca doesn’t know anything about them.

And what does that mean for Emily? If Beca knows her, and she knows Beca, what does Emily’s appreciation mean? If Emily knows all the songs, gets to hug Beca after a show, text Beca and get a reply instead of an unread Tweet shot into the void… is she any different than a screaming fan?

Would she have more of a chance for Beca to reciprocate some sort of… feeling that’s been slowly growing in Emily, one that’s probably always been there but hadn’t seemed appropriate when they were teammates in college, or across the country from one another, barely in touch, so much so that Emily just hadn’t really thought of it as more than friendship?

She watches Beca on stage and falls in love with the way the light hits her. She hangs out with Beca and falls in love with her tilted smirk and the way she anxiously keeps her hand in reach when she lets Bella experiment with her equipment. She falls in love with how Beca calls her when she’s performing out of town to ask her opinion on which song to open with.

Emily’s never been one to ignore how she feels as much as she just doesn’t recognize a feeling for what it is. Especially around her friends. And as the summer passes and she spends more time with Beca, goes to more of Beca’s shows, thinks about Beca more and more, Emily can’t help but wonder if to Beca she’s just another fan, invisible in the back, just another voice singing her songs back to her.

Emily doesn’t think so, but Beca has always been hard for her to read, and just because Emily can claim friendship even and a relationship more than that of some average fan, it doesn’t mean she might ever be more to Beca than the kid who joined the Barden Bellas, eager to please and desperate to find her place in the world.

Emily is older now, and she may have settled into her skin and her world more comfortably. She may have matured and learned how to weave through her social life with slightly more grace.

But what if to Beca, she’s always that freshman girl coming up to her at a party, fangirling just like her fans do now, overzealous and awkward and much too enthusiastic, someone to humor and feel fond of, but not someone to see as an equal?

Emily tries not to dwell on it, but she’s always been an overthinker. Her only solace in the matter is that she’s able to quell her anxiety, thinking and accepting that being in Beca’s life at all is more than the rest get, and to Emily, her friendship is almost everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to update this every Saturday, but I believe I will be taking a two week hiatus from this fic. I may still update minifics and things, but I'm about to have a really busy two weeks, and this is the fic I like to take time on and get right, so it's the one going on the backburner for now. That being said, who knows, maybe I will be able to update it. I just wanted to put it out there that it LIKELY will be on hiatus, just for a few weeks.   
> Thanks for reading, and as always, you can find me at emilyjunk.tumblr.com


	6. You Belong With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Her whole body aches with wanting - wanting to tell Beca she understands her and how this moment feels like it means something but she’s not sure exactly what. She wants to tell Beca she’s the most beautiful person she’s ever known, like from the inside out, like if Emily could write someone’s essence into a song, Beca’s would be the best song she’s ever written."

The summer ends, so Emily returns to her full-time job and Bella goes to daycare. Time passes slower and Emily cherishes every hour of the weekend, days spent at the beach with Stacie and Bella, nights sometimes at Beca’s shows.

Emily’s life feels full and bright. She listens to pop songs and dances with Bella in the kitchen when Stacie’s at work. She writes songs about self-confidence, and happiness, and love. She wakes up excited for the day and falls into deep restful sleeps at night.

Each day, she falls a little bit more in love with where she is in life and who she is.

And with Beca.

Emily’s swept up in Beca’s presence. They text and they hang out and they babysit Bella. They listen to music and get coffee and stalk the Bellas on Facebook for fun. Emily laughs all the time and Beca’s edges soften until it stops surprising Emily when Beca goes in a for hug or lays her feet in Emily’s lap or picks up Bella and swings her around. 

Emily always falls in love deeply and with her whole heart.

And she’s okay just falling in love with Beca’s friendship.

But when Beca smiles at her, or calls her to come over, or hangs out with her after she has a show, Emily can’t help but hope for more.

//

She’s on her lunch break one day when she gets a text from Stacie.

**Stacie:** did you see this?

**Stacie:** [attached link]

She clicks the link and waits for it to load in her phone browser, stuffing more of her sandwich in her mouth. 

She almost chokes when she sees the headline.

**_Beca Mitchell’s Mystery Man_ **

Emily skips over the article as the picture in the body catches her eye. It’s slightly blurry, but definitely of Beca. She’s walking the streets of New York with some guy Emily doesn’t recognize. He’s tall and handsome, bending over to speak in Beca’s ear. She’s grinning up at him, eyes hidden behind sunglasses. The caption says it was taken over the weekend, which makes sense, as Beca had flown into New York for three days on business.

Emily goes back to the article.

_ NEW YORK - Artist and producer Beca Mitchell seen this Saturday the 17th exiting hotel with an unknown man. The two appeared to be close and spoke privately but with affection. Mitchell has not publicly dated anyone since 2019, when she had a brief fling with Dutch producer Simon Berg. The relationship fizzled out after two months. Could this new mystery man be the inspiration behind Mitchell’s upcoming record? Her third studio album,  _ ReAwakening, _ hits shelves this November, just in time for Christmas.  _

Emily sets her phone down, still chewing on her lunch. Could Beca really be dating? She hadn’t said anything, but it’s not like Beca is always upfront about her personal life, especially if she’s not asked about it.

Still, the article is from one of those sleezy celebrity gossip sites and Emily doesn’t trust it one bit. And maybe Beca  _ isn’t _ that open about her personal life, but they’d been hanging out a lot the past few months, and Emily’s sure that if Beca were  _ dating _ someone then she’d have at least mentioned the guy.

No, Emily thinks. It must just be gossip. Some stupid fake article making a big mess out of something that’s nonexistent. Emily’s sure of it.

**Emily:** There’s no way that’s true

**Stacie:** Idkkkkkk they look pretty cozy. Are you sure??? 

A little seed of doubt niggles in the back of Emily’s mind, but she tries to swallow it down with her sandwich.

**Emily:** Definitely

//

That upcoming weekend, Stacie has an overnight modeling shoot in San Francisco, so it’s just Emily and Bella. Beca invites them over, but because Stacie is gone and Emily had been planning on making mac and cheese and having a Disney night, she tells Beca to come to their place instead.

When Beca rings the doorbell, Bella rushes to answer it.

“Wait Bell,” Emily calls. “Remember the rule.”

“But it’s Beca,” Bella whines, bouncing on her toes impatiently.

Emily does her best to give her a goddaughter a stern look, but she’s really freaking cute and Emily ends up smiling a little. “What’s the rule?”

“Umm… no answering the door without you or Mommy.”

“That’s right.” Emily pulls open the door, revealing that it is indeed Beca, dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie and carrying milkshakes she picked up from In n Out. “Hey,” Emily says, but before she can get anything else out, Bella’s stepping between Emily and the door.

“Beca where’s your jammies?”

Beca looks down at Bella, then up at Emily, then down at Bella. “My jammies?”

Bella nods solemnly. “We’re having aaaaa... sleepover!” 

“Oh,” Beca says, giving Emily a small smirk. Emily shrugs as if to say  _ just go with it _ . “I guess I didn’t get the memo. But I like  _ your _ jammies.”

“They’re dinosaurs.”

“I see that.”

Emily chuckles and nudges Bella back. “Come on, Bell, let’s let Beca at least get in the door before you start interrogating her.”

“Before what?”

“Before you ask her questions.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Bella skitters around Emily, her feet padding back to the family room. Beca steps inside and Emily takes the milkshakes from her. “Ooh, thanks.”

“No problem.” Beca kicks her shoes off, grinning at Emily. “Sleepover huh?”

Emily laughs. “I told her we could build a fort and sleep in the family room. I have no idea where she learned the concept of a sleepover. Maybe at daycare.” She shakes her head and they follow after Bella. “You’re obviously welcome to stay.”

Beca smirks. “But I didn’t bring my jammies.”

“Well, you can borrow some of Bella’s,” Emily teases and Beca gives her a push with her shoulder.

“Really funny.”

“Well I figured mine and Stacie’s would be too long.”

“Wow,” Beca snarks. “You know, I expected these jokes from the other Bellas, but never from you.”

Emily’s smile grows. “Yeah, I guess that was a little  _ short _ -sighted of me.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Beca jokes, but there’s a gasp from the family room and Bella comes skidding into the kitchen.

“BUT YOU JUST GOT HERE!”

Emily and Beca both laugh, causing Bella’s pout to grow. Beca hefts her up in her arms with a grunt. “Okay, I’ll stay, but only if you pick a  _ really _ good movie for us to watch.”

“ _ Tangled?” _ Bella asks, grabbing at Beca’s shoulders with her hands. Her feet dangle toward Beca’s knees and Emily laughs.

“Hmmm,” Beca pretends to think about it. “Okay, I  _ guess _ I could stay.” 

She sets Bella back on the ground and Bella hugs her waist. “Change into your jammies!”

Beca meets Emily’s gaze and Emily playfully rolls her eyes. “Bell, sit down at the table.” She scoops her a bowl of mac and cheese and puts one of the milkshakes in front of her. “I’m gonna get Beca some jammies. Eat your dinner and we’ll be right back.”

“Kay,” Bella responds, already climbing into a chair. Emily pushes her in and then goes off to her room, Beca following.

She opens the drawer with her comfy clothes and gestures to Beca. “Take your pick. I think there’s some shorts in there if you think pants will be too long.” Beca shoots her a look and Emily holds her hands up. “I’m just saying!”

Beca grumbles to herself and Emily laughs, leaving Beca alone to change. She goes back to the kitchen and scoops them some mac and cheese, sitting next to Bella at the table.

Beca comes back a minute later, one of Emily’s old Barden shirts on and a pair of flannel pants, rolled a bunch at the waist. Emily tries not to smile, sticking a spoonful of macaroni in her mouth instead. She’s pretty sure Beca sees through it, though, and she twists her lips, daring Emily to laugh.

After they finish eating, Emily cleans up while Beca and Bella gather up blankets and pillows. Then they start to make a fort in the living room, or at least Beca and Emily do, while Bella tries her best to get blankets to stay on flat surfaces until one of them ties it to something or places a heavier object on top of the corner so it will stay in place. Soon enough, they manage to drape enough blankets over furniture, tie them around lamps, keep them on the end table with Stacie’s old textbooks from the shelf until they have a functional, if not super structurally sound, blanket fort.

Emily turns the lights off and grabs Bella’s nightlight from her room, plugging it into the outlet by the couch so the dark space under the blankets grows a little lighter. Beca holds up the corner of the blanket that’s playing the part of the door to the fort and lets Bella crawl in first.  Then she gestures for Emily to crawl in and finally she slides in herself until the three of them are packed between the couch and the tv, cocooned around blankets and pillows. 

Bella fits under the blankets with no problem and the top of Beca’s head is just draping the ceiling of the fort, but Emily has to hunch on her elbows so she doesn’t knock it down. Beca laughs at her and Emily makes a pointed comment about Beca’s five-time rolled pants and Bella has no idea what they’re talking about, but she laughs along anyway, leaning her head into Beca’s side.

Emily army crawls over to the TV and turns it on. She thankfully doesn’t have to change out the DVD because  _ Tangled  _ is already in there, as it always is, because Bella never wants to watch any other movies. 

After she gets the movie set up, she fluffs up a space for Bella to sleep in, tucking the blankets around her and letting her lay in front so she can have her head on a pillow and still see the screen. Not that it would matter, Emily thinks, because the girl knows the movie by heart, but she still loves to watch Beca’s eyes go wide and get lost in the story as if she has no idea what’s going to happen. 

Beca and Emily sit huddled on the floor with their backs against the couch, sharing a blanket. Emily runs her fingers through Bella’s hair as they watch, laughing when Bella sings along with Rapunzel. But soon enough, Bella stops singing, and her breathing grows deeper, and by the time the credits roll, she’s already been asleep for a good half hour. 

And it’s not even very late, but caught in their blanket fort bubble, Emily suddenly feels exhausted. She yawns and quietly climbs over Bella to turn the TV off. Beca’s maneuvered so she’s lying down, squished between Bella and the couch. She’s staring up at the blanket ceiling, her lips twisted in thought.

Emily leans on her elbow to look at her. “You stargazing?” She whispers.

Beca smiles, her eyes flicking toward Emily. “This just reminds me of one time we made a fort like this in the Bella house. Before you came. Must’ve been my junior year.” She laughs to herself a little. “It was giant. We used every blanket and comforter and pillow in the house and Stacie and Ashley legit engineered it to have like, rooms inside it. I think it stayed up in the living room for four days before CR got tired of crawling under it to watch TV and she and Amy tore it down.”

The thought makes Emily laugh and a feeling of nostalgia washes over her. “Do you miss college?”

“Sometimes,” Beca murmurs. Her gaze shifts to Bella, but she’s still fast asleep. Emily’s not surprised. The kid sleeps like a rock. “Things are so different now. It feels like a million years ago.”

“Yeah,” Emily whispers. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not even the same person now.”

Beca looks at her, eyes dark in the low light. “You still seem like Emily to me. Maybe a little like, older.”

Emily raises her eyebrows. “You don’t say.”

Beca rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Like, less wide-eyed and more experienced or something.”

“I know,” Emily laughs. “I’m totally wise now.”

“Sure,” Beca says. “Let’s go with that.”

She grins over at Emily and Emily shakes her head in amusement. Then she flops down on her pillow. She can still see Beca if she turns her head to the side. Between them, Bella rolls over on her stomach, her feet kicking into Emily’s shins.

The silence grows between them and Emily tries to gather some courage to ask what she wants to ask. She feels like every deep breath she takes makes her heart leap in her chest.

“Can I ask you something?” She eventually manages to whisper.

Beca rolls on her side until they’re staring at each other over Bella’s head. “Okay.”

Emily can’t read her expression in the semi-darkness, the nightlight casting strange shadows across Beca’s face. “Are you dating that guy?”

There’s an audible exhale from Beca and then she snorts. “No,” she says, and Emily can’t gauge her tone. “He’s Theo’s friend and Theo won’t stop texting me pictures from those sites speculating if we’re dating. He thinks it’s hilarious. Dude’s like, not even close to being straight.” She gives Emily a small smile. “Don’t you think I’d tell you if I was dating someone?”

Emily shrugs. “You’re very private sometimes.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re like…” Beca trails off, looking back at the blanket ceiling. “Um. I haven’t really dated in a long time.”

“Why not?”

There’s a long beat of silence. Emily waits. “I thought for a while I might, if I just could wait it out. The timing wasn’t right,” Beca says at last. 

Emily has no idea what she’s talking about. “The timing?”

“Yeah,” Beca nods. She’s still looking at the blanket above them. “I mean I was with Jesse, so it didn’t happen. And then I finally got my head out of my ass, but…” She pauses. “Then, like, you know. Chicago. So.”

And understanding suddenly hits Emily like a truck. She aches for Beca in the biggest way. “Oh... I’m sorry, Bec.” She reaches her hand over Bella and squeezes Beca’s arm.

“It’s okay, actually.” Beca looks back at her, maybe relieved she didn’t have to say it in so many words. “The timing wasn’t right, and now I’m past it, and…” She meets Emily’s eyes and Emily gets caught up in the way the light reflects off her pupils. “Um. I dunno, I feel different now, so.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Beca says softly, the word getting lost in an exhale of breath. “I think I want different things now, and it’s kind of like you said, that version of me feels a lifetime away from the me that’s here right now.”

The words hang heavy between them and Emily wants so many things in this moment she’s not sure she could ever articulate them. Her whole body aches with wanting - wanting to tell Beca she understands her and how this moment feels like it means something but she’s not sure exactly what.  She wants to tell Beca she’s the most beautiful person she’s ever known, like from the inside out, like if Emily could write someone’s essence into a song, Beca’s would be the best song she’s ever written.

Her fingers are still on Beca’s arm and she can’t form any words because she doesn’t know how to get her feelings to make sense, so she trails them down lightly and grabs Beca’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

Beca squeezes back.

“I’m happy you’re here,” she whispers after a moment.

Beca’s expression is unreadable as she looks at Emily in the low light. “Me too,” she says.

And they look at each other, their hands clasped over Bella, until Beca’s eyes flutter shut and her breathing goes heavy. 

Emily rolls onto her back and stares at the blanket ceiling, filled with turmoil and uncertainty and confusion, until she, too, drifts into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i guess the hiatus this week didn't happen... BUT next week there almost certainly will be no chapter because i will be out of town and at a wedding lol. anyway thanks for reading!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, you can reach me at emilyjunk.tumblr.com.


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